Week 5 // 2018
It has now been 2 weeks of Henry being ill, lethargic and abit miserable. First it was a cough (not good for CF) and the second has been a tummy bug resulting in massive stinky nappies and a snotty nose. Unable to put him in nursery we have been at home alot, with him refusing food, me struggling with his new behaviour, being stuck inside from the cold and rain, and me being unsure how much creon to be giving when he is eating random amounts.
I find parenting such a challenge and so unenjoyable alot of the time. I always wanted to have a large family but now I never want any more as it just feels so relentless and demoralising alot of the time.
This week I have put on alot of extra commitments on myself, job prospects, working out how to do the job I want to do while juggling all the responsibilites of Henry and his CF duties, and trying to take care of myself and enjoying my time with him- welcome to Parenthood!
This has caused me to feel very overwhelmed, irritatable and my eczema has flared up too which knocks my confidance alot. Luckily I was booked in for my last session of Outlook councilling which helped me look at this in a different light and feel like I am in control. I will write more about councilling at a later date, but it has helped me so much since I started in late summer, to cope with things and make me see different viewpoints of my circumstances and prospects. She reminded me of the tools that I have learnt, that I can now acknowledge when life is feeling too difficult and to ask for help and try and do something for myself.
So my parents were able to take Henry for the night, I got chores done, had quiet time, enjoyed a bath and eat good nourishing food.
I have also started going for walks with my dad, a 3mile 1 hour burst of fitness to get the tensions away, breathe in the fresh air and look at the beautiful countryside that I live by. It feels freeing not to have a toddler with me for once, to walk at a normal adult pace and not the super slow toddler pace and to do something to improve my confidance, tone up and lose weight.
And now it is February, and the months moving on makes the memories from 2017 all the more distant and more manageable, which is a really great feeling and positive to look forward to summer.
I find parenting such a challenge and so unenjoyable alot of the time. I always wanted to have a large family but now I never want any more as it just feels so relentless and demoralising alot of the time.
This week I have put on alot of extra commitments on myself, job prospects, working out how to do the job I want to do while juggling all the responsibilites of Henry and his CF duties, and trying to take care of myself and enjoying my time with him- welcome to Parenthood!
This has caused me to feel very overwhelmed, irritatable and my eczema has flared up too which knocks my confidance alot. Luckily I was booked in for my last session of Outlook councilling which helped me look at this in a different light and feel like I am in control. I will write more about councilling at a later date, but it has helped me so much since I started in late summer, to cope with things and make me see different viewpoints of my circumstances and prospects. She reminded me of the tools that I have learnt, that I can now acknowledge when life is feeling too difficult and to ask for help and try and do something for myself.
So my parents were able to take Henry for the night, I got chores done, had quiet time, enjoyed a bath and eat good nourishing food.
I have also started going for walks with my dad, a 3mile 1 hour burst of fitness to get the tensions away, breathe in the fresh air and look at the beautiful countryside that I live by. It feels freeing not to have a toddler with me for once, to walk at a normal adult pace and not the super slow toddler pace and to do something to improve my confidance, tone up and lose weight.
And now it is February, and the months moving on makes the memories from 2017 all the more distant and more manageable, which is a really great feeling and positive to look forward to summer.
xx
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