Week 2 // 2018

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We are off to CF Clinic in Exeter tomorrow and I don't want to go. I have recently been feeling much confusion and frustration towards the nurses/doctors/physios/psychologists in the NHS and CF has been weighing heavily on my mind all week. Henry's nails have been starting to break midway up his nail. I thought it was an accident, him pulling on toys too hard or something falling on his hands but the nursery commented on it being unusual and was it related to CF? I couldn't answer. I hadn't even thought it may be a CF issue and no-one from the hospitals has told me anything relating to this. A quick google and suprise suprise it is indeed a issue that CF people can have as they may have thinner nails and also they may get clubbing in their fingers as they get older. Not good news and upsetting. When I am having a good week and things seem to be going well, CF seems to knock me back and remind me of what a shock it is for my only child to have it. It reminds me of his diagnosis, his limited life expectancy and the sadness of him being the only child I will have and the unexpected realities I have had to face in motherhood.

CF Trust Website


But Henry is doing well. He miraculously started blowing his physio mask on his own (check out my instagram video) by taking the mask off (which physios said he would do when he is much older) and I have been doing alot of daily walks by the sea with him and alot of chasing/tickling for physio which is working well.




I have felt a huge change this week. Putting Henry in nursery for 3 mornings a week has been greatly beneficial to me as I have had quiet time to myself, to read, apply for jobs and do swimming and yoga. My body has finally started to feel strong again and my exhaustion is from physical exercise and not mental exhaustion from the monotony of motherhood.

With this free time, the realities of moving from London to Cornwall is hitting hard. it is a different lifestyle down here, no choice or selection of decent gyms, no spas for steam/sauna and swimming, a limited selection of yoga and I can only find one dance studio in the whole of north cornwall! But there is the sea pool to swim in if you are brave and I have found one great Iyengar teacher and my walk there is a blissful stroll looking over countryside. I also managed to go to the cinema at the weekend which felt great to be doing an activity not baby-related. But again there is no night-life here. In London there are so many restaurants, independant cinemas, bars, theatres, and a general buzz and flurry of people on the streets but in my town there wasn't a single person on the streets on a saturday night! not one! This town is so safe and so quiet it is refreshing as I have spent my life avoiding dark alleys and keeping safe as a woman in a city and it is amazing to be living somewhere so safe and friendly but it is a big change.
x






walking to yoga in the countryside

Saturday night in Cornwall...




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