How are you coping with isolation? How are you coping with the threat of illness? How are you coping as a single-parent.
My son is 'very high risk' due to Cystic Fibrosis and I have found it challenging to narrow down what this means to us while also nervous to write honestly about this time.
Initially I was in blind panic mode. Nobody seemed to be taking this seriously, some children were taken out of school, others weren't, stockpiling was happening, antibac wipes/gel/spray prices skyrocketed, marathons were going ahead while others were closed down. I decided early on to take my son out of school a week before they closed. His condition means his lungs would be seriously affected by any respiratory infection, but the advice from the NHS was to bring him into clinic and continue life as usual. Instead, I kept us at home. I had to work from home. I worked from 5am-7am while he had breakfast and played, we spent the day inside with a trip out for exercise and to get food, quickly getting home to shower, wash hands and finish the day exhausted by putting him to bed at 6pm then working from 6-9pm. We live in a small flat with no outside space and I was shattered after just one week. It was a chaotic and uncertain time. Was this all just hype? what if we got ill? what would happen to my job if I couldn't work? what happens if my child gets ill? who can i talk to for support?what happens to my child if I get ill?
I heard nothing from my employer or the NHS to help make any financial or health decisions, and from previous experience I knew quickly that I would be unable to cope physically or mentally if I continued like this for weeks. I made the decision to move in with my parents for the lockdown.
We are now in week 8 of 'shielding': Henry has not left the house, I have briefly gone for 2 walks at 6am, medicine and food has been delivered to us, we have a parcel containment area, minimising deliveries and fully wiping anything before entering the house. We are probably taking a firmer line than many but as a parent to a vulnerable child I cannot take the risk.
But right now we are coping. A garden helps. Being able to work from home helps. Living with other people is helping, not only for childcare but as social interaction. But what really helps is knowing that I have been in challenging situations before as a single parent and survived.
It was a difficult time. In March 2017 I left London with my 10month old son and had to move into my parents house, the house we are now staying in for the isolation. It has not been the path I had expected and I feel both disappointed and lucky to have had to face tough realities while in my 20s. The reality was a bad relationship, a marriage crumbling, absolute lack of support from family, friends and health professionals. I was learning how to become a mother and that it's not always the natural and joyful process as portrayed, while also caring for a child with a chronic illness while struggling with depression. I have cried and my body has swollen and I have been so excessively tired during the first 3 years that I couldn't even work.
During this lockdown, I haven't felt lonely. Little compares to the epic loneliness of a troubled marriage ending and being left alone with a new baby.
I have already experienced the restriction and severe isolation due to the the countless amount of treatments, medications, feeding, hospital visits and routine changes when my son was born. There was not enough time in the day to complete it all, let alone get out of the house, and forget any time for yourself.
I have spent almost 4 years washing my hands and wiping surfaces more than others, that it is now second nature.
So actually, this isolation is not too bad. This is just my experience of this lockdown. Everyone is managing differently and it's important to remember that you are getting through every day the best you can.
Stay Safe xx
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